The Disappointing Run

I just got back from a run. Literally JUST got back. I am standing in my kitchen heaving and dripping in sweat swallowing down what feels like gallons of water, but I needed to blog about that run.

I went to sleep last night telling myself that no matter what time it was, what the weather was like, or how much I wanted to take a shower when I woke up, I would go on a run. I no longer had the excuse of “I don’t have proper cold running gear, I’ll get sick” to fall back on when I wanted to skip out on an exercise because I had just found a nice baselayer on sale at Dick’s Sporting Goods, and so I tried to pump myself up as best I could.

I woke up at 7:30 (which, sadly, is now “sleeping in”) and eventually got myself to get up and get ready, which was actually much easier than I thought it would be as I fell asleep last night. I was super motivated and feeling good when I stepped out the door and started my run. I had already decided what my path would be, estimating about four miles. I needed to hit it because I’ll be running Buffalo’s Turkey Trot this Thanksgiving, which is an 8K – a distance I have yet to reach.

Just over a mile into my run, my iPhone had died. I should have seen that coming, considering I was using MapMyRun, a GPS-driven device, and listening to Pandora Radio for that first mile. I was irritated about it, but tried to get myself lost in thought to pass the time, or push myself to run faster, reasoning with myself that “the faster you run, the faster it’ll be over.”

I had no idea how far I had run, but I was proud that I stuck with my pre-determined route even without music. Just as I entered my final neighborhood, everything started to hurt. I thought it was just my brain playing tricks on me, and maybe it was, but I just wanted to stop and walk the rest of the way. I continued to run and reason with myself – “ok, what if you just run half of this and run home?” “Well, you can run up to this part and then walk, then run again.” “Walk now and then run when you get to this point.”

In the back of my head, though, I knew what the real solution was – suck it up and run it out (as I heard my friend scream it at me in a Long Island accent) but I gave in and ran the entire neighborhood as planned, and then walked the rest of the way home. Disappointment number one.

Disappointment number two was once I got home. Because my phone had died, I had no idea how long or how far I had been running. I looked at the clock and realized I had been gone for a little over a half hour. What? It felt like I was out there forever! How could I be hurting this badly after only a half hour? I’ve run further and stronger tons of times before.

The final disappointment was when I mapped out my run. Before I actually did the math about my pace I expected to be somewhere around four miles – it sure felt that way. Total distance? Just over three miles. High five Jackie – good luck running that 8K in a week.

Yes, sure – look at the positives! I got up and out the door, I ran for the first time in this type of weather, and I kept (approximately) a 10 min/mile pace, great, but I struggled through it and eventually gave up.

Hopefully the next time I head out on a run I’ll read this post and remember this feeling to push me through another run.

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