I’m just…so…tir…

Tired. I am so so tired.

I always forget how much half marathon training tires me out. I’m working out seven days a week, for a half hour minimum. Not to mention the time it takes to get ready and clean up (namely, deal with my fuzz ball hair problem) after. It’s a lot of time, meaning it takes away time from other things.

These are pretty important things, like building friendships, working my second job as the Marketing Director for the Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus, planning and promoting the Higher Ed Social Podcast, working on this blog, cleaning my apartment, searching for new recipes, and…sleeping.

On the days where I have to exercise after work, I’m away from my apartment for a long time. These are the days I’m out on a run, and because I’m a bit slower, a four mile run isn’t something I can do “quickly” after I’m finished up at the office. By the time I get home, I hardly want to make dinner, which is why I find myself, more often than not, throwing Shakeology in a blender with some fruit and ice and calling it a day. I’m not complaining, it’s delicious, but it’s the bigger picture here.

Then I sit down on the couch, somewhere around 7 or 7:30. I have to immediately start catching up on emails and getting work done, when suddenly, it’s 10pm. My eyes get heavy, and my to-do list has hardly been dented.

If I don’t get to sleep around 11pm, I get incredibly cranky the next morning, mostly because I’m awake (usually) before six, thanks to my cat who pretends to be hungry but really isn’t. I usually push myself through a half hour workout, drag myself into the shower…then off to work again.

I feel as though I am constantly exerting energy and can’t catch up…ever. I fall asleep in a snap, and wake up feeling as though only a few minutes have passed by. I’m desperate for a break, but even my weekends have me feeling exhausted, trying to play catch up from the previous week, or even, if I can, get ahead for the week that’s fast approaching.

I can’t be too upset that I’m this busy, because I was so desperate for something to do when I first moved here, but I feel stuck in this rhythm of exhaustion that has no release. Perhaps it will come when I travel to Nashville to run, or maybe even before that. I’m not sure, but I would love it to come soon.

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