Each month, right after I submit my rent check, I go into a small panic about money. Each month I do the same thing. I total my income, and subtract each monthly payment I know I have to make:

  • Internet
  • Student Loans
  • Rent Check
  • Car Insurance
  • Gym Membership (why I still pay for this I have no idea. See this post if you’re done wasting an insane amount of money on gym memberships)
  • NEW! Car Payment

Then I look at the final number. The very very small final number. I ask myself each month, can I reasonably live off of this much money each month? Now, granted, the concept is to live off of less than that, which is even more troubling, but of course, I’m one to over-save.

I work full time, and spend most of my nights working part time, just to make myself feel a little more at ease about the money I have in the bank. I am hard on myself about setting that money aside for…things. I don’t have a rule on that money, which is probably a problem. I’m currently saving for nothing, but lately I’ve used that money to pay for trips, like my upcoming half marathon in Nashville, or tickets home to Buffalo. Slowly, I’m figuring it out.

My problem still is very far off from being solved. I don’t consider myself a careless spender of money, but somehow always feel like I’m on a tight budget. I may be over thinking and under spending, but it’s not a nice feeling to have. Really though, I’m lucky. I have my own apartment that I can make a payment on each month, buy groceries, get gas…lots of things that I can do on my own.

Slowly, very slowly, I’ll feel less and less uneasy about money and budgeting. When will that happen? Probably right around the time I’m getting married, buying a house, or having kids, where it won’t be that simple any more.

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