I’m just about a month into my half marathon training, and I think I’m allowed to officially call myself a runner. And as a runner, I’ve learned a lot more about myself in my first month of training than I thought I would. I put $70 into a race very far into the future thinking that it would help me in my quest to lose weight but also hoping that I would learn where my brain needs to go to motivate myself to push past my comfort zone.
I’m a generally unmotivated person, in my opinion. I so easily talk myself out of doing things – most often exercise – that it genuinely concerns me. It’s reflected in my attitude at work, my never-perfectly-clean apartment, and the fact that this blog post has been sitting in my drafts for a week. I know the obvious answer, so do something about it, is inexplicably challenging for me to achieve.
I thought creating a training schedule would shake me and push me to stick to something for the first time in a long time. I thought seeing a number of miles or a time duration on a calendar would hold me accountable and force me to complete the challenge ahead. It didn’t. Chalk it up to this endlessly depressing winter weather, my physical weakness, or quality marketing skills that can talk even my own brain into believing something is true, but I need to admit that I’ve been behind.
When I think about race day and the challenge ahead I don’t get nervous like I know should. Even though the furthest I’ve run is five miles, I convince myself that the energy of race day, the people around me, and the warm weather will push me through. Maybe that’s true for the last two miles, but eight? Ten? maybe not.
Upstate NY has been teased with a few nice days outside (read “temperatures over 15 degrees”) and I fortunately got to get out and make it count with some distance runs. Completing those was a great help in giving me a little motivation to get up every day and get an exercise in. With warmer weather around the corner, a habit of exercise established, friends to run with, and registration complete for the Disney Wine and Dine Half Marathon in November, I hope I can kick into high gear soon!